Are Straight People OK?

hello and welcome to our straight people
00:07
okay the show where we check in with the
00:09
majority that see how are you doing
00:12
so everything okay we are not here to
00:14
judge but we are concerned and some of
00:17
us might judge a little bit I plan on
00:19
judging I am your host Amanda and I
00:23
identify as a lesbian with the she and
00:25
her pronouns I’m Matthew and I’m gender
00:28
nonconforming and I’m gay as fuck and I
00:31
use he or they pretend I’m Bella jaja I
00:34
am a trans woman I use she/her and okra
00:38
I’m Rocco and I identify as a man of
00:40
trans experience and occasionally I
00:43
identify as straight but culturally
00:46
queer okay this Trojan horse a monster
00:51
alright so let’s get started and check
00:53
in with the streets on Twitter one
00:55
straight person tweeted having a BF is
00:57
kind of like having a kid when was the
00:59
last time you showered you’ve been on
01:01
your game for seven hours needs his
01:03
clothes laid out have to go to clothes
01:05
shopping because they won’t can’t trust
01:07
them to pack their bag for a trip face
01:09
it you can’t do life alone boys this
01:12
feels very much like an unhealthy
01:15
relationship right is it your child or
01:18
is it your boyfriend this is not a
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comparison you would want to make with
01:21
somebody you’re sleeping with and this
01:23
it feels a little like ish are they
01:25
having sex is this a fun relationship is
01:27
that what is he doing does he have a job
01:30
and she’s a stay-at-home mom
01:32
maybe stay at home mom for him I just
01:35
feel like I’m so like soaked in like
01:38
daddy culture where everyone calls other
01:40
daddy that it’s hard for me to have a
01:42
leg to stand on when it comes to like
01:44
familial language because it’s like how
01:47
many times have I asked some random
01:48
person to spike it like let’s say by
01:51
saying daddy yeah but you don’t want to
01:55
be a child you don’t want to be likened
01:57
right right I want to be the adult child
02:00
of an adult penis called the son is
02:03
different than being oh I shy I don’t I
02:06
don’t ever I know people were into daddy
02:07
son clay like you like I know cars yes I
02:10
think we do the role play and it’s like
02:12
you’re disappointed in you and all that
02:14
stuff but I don’t do that I’m never a
02:16
son daddy I mean that does sound kind of
02:18
hard to have someone disappointed but
02:20
just for fun just for fun big cake is
02:23
severe disappointment let’s go ahead and
02:25
move on to the next level marry they ass
02:28
by the kids Oh God are men okay and the
02:33
answer is no does he want his daughter
02:35
to grow up and have a guy like this you
02:37
know what I mean like I feel like a guy
02:39
wouldn’t want your daughter to be that
02:41
way and a man to treat you that way
02:42
why do you treat with it that way my
02:44
version of this tweet is marry the
02:46
trauma by the therapy yeah it’s uh it’s
02:49
a loaded tweet for being only six words
02:51
but let’s go ahead and move on I love my
02:54
boyfriend but man let me tell you not a
02:56
day goes by where I don’t want to square
02:58
up with him Wow meaning fight him girl
03:01
even if you want to punch your partner
03:03
I’m sure maybe that’s a kink – oh yeah
03:08
shame yeah don’t you feel like straight
03:13
people romanticize intense relationships
03:17
like we have movies about them and like
03:20
where you fight that you love each other
03:22
and make up at the end and I’m like
03:23
every queer relationship I know is just
03:25
like two people trying to weather the
03:26
world together in this like very
03:28
beautiful way and they don’t ruin it but
03:31
I feel like for straight people there’s
03:32
just remain a cessation of like very
03:33
intense it’s cute yeah and I’m like no I
03:37
just
03:38
you with my man just because not have
03:41
any oppression that you have to find a
03:43
way to like because there’s so many
03:46
rom-coms where they start off as enemies
03:47
and then become and then they love each
03:49
other so have straight people just been
03:50
fed that so much that they’re like I
03:52
have to hate him in order to love him
03:54
growing up on the south side of Chicago
03:57
I think it’s very common in a black
04:01
family to be you know a hetero man and
04:03
woman to joke about that you know and
04:06
it’s so normal and it’s so like oh girl
04:09
y’all I love ya like that’s what I was
04:16
saying before and there’s different ways
04:17
to take it but people are saying like
04:19
love and hate aren’t opposites like
04:20
they’re both passion and if you go to
04:23
that place of violence and it’s okay
04:24
because that means that he you know like
04:26
really loves you or some shit and it’s
04:28
like a really weird way of talking about
04:31
intense emotions that’s not to say that
04:34
that doesn’t happen in the queer
04:35
community it’s like no we would we
04:37
wouldn’t tweet about it let’s move on to
04:39
the last tweet that we have lately I’ve
04:41
been talking to this girl and we’ve been
04:42
kind of hitting it off but between all
04:44
the dirty texting and bullshit I’ve done
04:46
with her guess what I’ve been doing
04:47
focusing on the biz women are a time
04:50
suck my dudes let him suck your dick but
04:52
not your time I just want to say that I
04:59
am a very gay person who’s been
05:01
gainfully employed full time for many
05:03
years and has been able to sext while
05:05
doing my job sexting before this video
05:10
started with a friend of mine it’s
05:12
called multitasking it would be
05:14
interesting if if some of these not all
05:17
not all straight men but if some of
05:19
these straight men lived in a world
05:21
where women are people
05:25
if there’s anything I’ve learned in this
05:28
life it’s to be able to send an email
05:30
while getting my dick sucked now we’re
05:32
going to talk about gender-reveal
05:33
parties and you know what they are
05:36
problematic yes but they’re also kind of
05:40
dangerous
05:40
so we’re going to watch a couple of
05:42
pretty dangerous gender reveal
05:44
[Music]
05:54
[Music]
05:58
[Applause]
06:06
we have the very dangerous guy who
06:09
started a wildfire because of his
06:11
gender-reveal party this wildfire burned
06:14
up forty-seven thousand acres it cost
06:16
like over eight million dollars and
06:18
damages
06:19
there’s many layers to unpack I’ve
06:21
always been confused about why anyone
06:23
gives a fuck to reveal the gender of the
06:25
baby like is it just about gift-giving
06:26
or is it like about you’re more of a
06:29
connection to your baby so I do
06:32
understand that part of like okay now
06:35
people could buy me this color or people
06:38
can you know I can start dreaming of how
06:41
I want them to grow up but that’s fucked
06:43
out right yes
06:44
if their parents are already projecting
06:47
like my parents really wanted a certain
06:49
type of life for me and it has nothing
06:51
to do with my queerness either like the
06:52
life was like these expectations of like
06:54
you’re gonna go to college you’re gonna
06:55
have this type of career all of these
06:57
things so when I came out as gay
06:58
both my parents were like okay we’ll
07:00
deal with that when I came out as trans
07:01
it was a little bit harder for my dad my
07:03
mom was on board 100% but when I told
07:06
them that I didn’t want to go to college
07:07
and that I wanted to have an artistic
07:09
career that was not okay so this like
07:12
moment of projecting before the baby
07:15
while the baby’s in utero the baby’s
07:17
eating all that shit if you are having a
07:19
child because you’re disappointed by the
07:21
failures of your own life and then you
07:24
place all of these expectations on that
07:26
baby like why don’t you just do that
07:27
with your own life why are you doing
07:28
that to it unborn baby there are those
07:30
cakes that’ll say like tat like two twos
07:32
or tackles and it’ll be like is it gonna
07:34
be a ballerina baby and a ballerina or a
07:37
football player and I’ll be like it is
07:39
weird because like you’re your daughter
07:41
can also grow up to be a football player
07:42
you know your your daughter could be on
07:44
and play rugby and tackle it’s like I
07:46
think it’s is that on some level like
07:48
let me get in touch with my baby in some
07:51
way before it’s here and that’s valid
07:53
but like what satisfaction do you get
07:56
out of like bringing life into the world
07:58
and then having everything planned out
08:00
for it’s like here’s the thing because I
08:04
had to watch a compilation in order to
08:06
cut this video together and one of the
08:09
things that was disheartening
08:11
straight-up awful was so many of the
08:14
video
08:15
we’re like it’s a boy and the dad was
08:18
like she doesn’t like running around in
08:20
high-fiving people as if he had some
08:23
kind of accomplishment I know
08:24
I wish my dad reacted like that when I
08:26
came out to him as being trans like hey
08:30
just so you know how you wanted to say
08:33
some are disappointed I’ve seen ya
08:36
mother of the Father like even the
08:39
siblings this yeah a lot of them were
08:41
like little little brothers when they
08:43
find out they have a sister are crying
08:45
and I was like what are you teaching
08:46
your son about women that this is so
08:50
upsetting to that how are you treating
08:52
your wife that this is how they react in
08:55
the last bit we’re gonna check it with
08:56
the straight people to see what they’re
08:58
shopping for checked out some things on
09:00
Amazon we have this black and white
09:01
duvet cover said that says her side of
09:04
the bed in his side of the bed and he’s
09:06
got nothing more the pet sleep that’s my
09:09
first question
09:12
if it was up to me I would be okay with
09:15
this because I want all of the bed but
09:19
this will say dildo right here let’s be
09:24
honest yeah
09:26
yes believe okay this perceives that you
09:29
actually want to sleep in a bed with
09:31
your partner I always felt like when I
09:33
get married it’s gonna be a Lucy and
09:35
Ricky situation where we fuck in one bed
09:37
and then I send him to his bed like we
09:39
got marriage beds yeah where it’s like
09:41
two beds that you push together to make
09:43
one bed for sex and then you push him up
09:45
I wouldn’t even push them together like
09:46
y’all you’re just fuck on one bed and
09:48
then I and I would fuck on his bed let
09:50
all that must sit over there I’ll go
09:53
back to mine I will say this this seems
09:55
just like a novelty thing I think that
09:57
there’s trashy-ass queers that would
09:59
want this kind of shit too next item
10:02
oh yeah there’s money her money it
10:05
should be a bigger one this is our money
10:08
yeah exactly there should be but at the
10:11
same time I saw this and at first I was
10:13
like uh-uh but then I was like oh is she
10:15
the breadwinner and bringing home all of
10:17
the money but it’s no she’s right it’s
10:20
supposed to be there like when she saw
10:21
my money
10:23
joke like that I’d like to be like this
10:26
is my side of the closet and all this is
10:28
hard who keeps their money in a piggy
10:30
bank wait maybe this is for children and
10:33
it’s like the Sun is getting less of an
10:35
allowance than the daughter in which
10:37
case these straight people are okay once
10:40
they start preferentially treating their
10:42
daughters by giving them more money and
10:44
empowering them straight people are okay
10:47
daughters get ten dollars for allowing
10:49
that’s right sons get seven dollars in
10:52
10 cents other two women send off what I
10:56
wonder though is the way these piggy
10:57
banks are situated does the money have
10:59
to pass through his piggy bank to get to
11:02
her separate I think it’s one piggy bank
11:10
and that it’s his money going into her I
11:14
hate that disgusted we have this my God
11:18
my dick smells like coffee I’m the
11:21
reason what the hell does that mean okay
11:23
wait so she’s saying that she drinks so
11:28
much coffee
11:29
but then she sucks his dick and his dick
11:32
smells like coffee see I waited somebody
11:34
is her vagina that’s what I thought I
11:36
was like is she putting coffee grounds
11:38
up there like what is happening not
11:39
doing it not like a strange type of
11:41
douche I mean it’s funny on one level
11:43
but also like who would wear that but
11:45
also I just want to say that there’s
11:47
nothing actually gendered about these
11:50
except the photo if you just looked at
11:51
the things and just as my dick cuz that
11:54
could be anyone who has a dick
11:55
his dick well the other one says his
11:57
dick so but if you just just said in my
11:59
diction Brow’s kim youjin a man i
12:04
straight man getting this for his
12:06
girlfriend be like no it’s funny where
12:09
that’s like that’s like the pressure
12:12
that we’ve been feeling relationships to
12:15
like cuz like a guy would get this and
12:16
think it’s a funny guy or she kind of
12:18
looks like a bro she’s like she’s buying
12:20
it mylan you’re saying that you would be
12:23
down with the coffee smelly dick I
12:25
well his dick wouldn’t smell like coffee
12:27
if I were sucking it it would probably
12:28
smell like peanut butter because that’s
12:30
all eating
12:30
as we are about to end the show we just
12:34
wanted to really quickly
12:36
Chuck in with a straight person so we
12:38
have a Kiva here and we’re just gonna
12:41
check in to see how are you doing today
12:44
it’s been a day
12:46
it’s been a week thank you so much
12:48
Aikido we just want to thank you for
12:51
pulling me in off the street I’m so
12:53
rarely recognized and celebrated awesome
12:56
thank you thank you so much Akiva thank
12:58
you thank you do you think straight
12:59
people are okay I don’t know if straight
13:02
people are okay but I do know that
13:04
they’re trying desperately to seem okay
13:07
and that is not okay
13:09
what is okay I just feel like this
13:11
believe in yourself you don’t need all
13:14
of this to let you know that you’re
13:16
worth it and you’re someone who should
13:18
be appreciated and I cheated on are
13:20
straight people okay no they’re not okay
13:22
I’m not okay we’re not okay like no one
13:26
if being a person is really challenging
13:27
and I think there’s a system in place
13:29
that makes straight people shittier then
13:33
queer people and I’ll stand by that
13:36
until queer people are absorbed by
13:39
mainstream culture fully we will always
13:43
be a little bit more okay mainstream
13:46
culture is not okay so I’m straight
13:48
people have a lot to work on and I think
13:52
that one thing that could help them and
13:54
everyone out is therapy oh yeah three
13:58
I’m sure we’ll check in in the future
14:00
just to make sure straight people are
14:02
you doing okay are you okay
14:08
you
14:11
[Music]

—

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